What is everyone saying.

Scammers say that most people are sitting ducks.
Advertisers say the people do not know what they want.
Entertainers say give them what they want.
The Rock says you should smell what he is cooking.
Kajairo says,well,nothing.
Koffi Annan says people should live in peace.
Bob Marley says the herb is for the healing of the nation.
Mwai says mkae hapo hapo.
Werevu say wajinga ndio waliwao.
The pope says dont do the deed.
Atwoli says the workers are suffering.
Caro Mutoko says too much.
Madonna says she is lying naked on the floor.
Mourinho says he is the special one.
Wetangula says it is over.
Fidel says he is not dying.
The Greatfull say they are dead.
The stones say they are rolling.
Bono says stop poverty.
Equity says they are expanding to Uganda.
Safaricom says there is a price war.
Celtel says Ongea pamoja.
Lovers say they are in love.
Robert Kelly says he did not do it.
The jury says Tyson did it.
The people say they have to be free.
Jaramogi says not yet Uhuru.
Jomo says he is facing mount Kenya.
Tupac says he is the Don Killuminati.
The textbook says Look ahead.
Chinua says things fall apart.
What is everyone saying.

News.Bad news.

Mugabe called a seniour US  government official a prostitute.Yaani ngeli ya MA-LA-YA.Serious allegations considering the gender of that particular official.There are questions on how Comrade Bob knows about that other career this official is pursuing......
Ati a Kenyan has been thrown to jail in the US for shaking a baby.(Not his!)I think all those Kenyans experimenting with experimental hallucinogenics and cheap intoxicants should fly back home and use somehing they are more farmiliar with.Chang'aa prices are falling.

Which Kenyan politician needs to eat sh*t and hump a camel?Any votes?This will soon be revealed.

Critics have been heard talking in low tones about the development of Kenyan music stagnating...hmmm.I think of two scenarios immeadiately(Did you hear the album Metaphor za Mtaa by some dude called Goreala.Mimi huwa sipeani promo bure.It is on point.)Another is the seriously cool MC calling himself Abas kubaff(Is he really a moron?Coz kubaff means exactly that ,moron.Or it is an Oxy-moron?(how old is that joke?)The other scenario is of course the gyrating beats of Benga maestros Luna Kidi.Let us be tooootally honest;Benga sounds better done  by the real shagzmodoz the Congolese.

Dr Congo has long weighed on my conciense because of how big and dark it is on Google maps.......I have heard rumours that it is now exporting a very unique craft.Dem a bleach.this is the scientific application of locally prepared concoctions cum chemically reactive sub nuclear particles that can bleach a dark ape's skin to the point of being mistaken for the uncle of Tom Cruise.(Tom has apparently been very busy gaining fame as a religious demagogue much hunted by bloggers wielding poisoned pens.)(old news).
White people(White attitude,not skin color) have a problem with being dark. When you think of the only reason a Dr Congolese joins the ranks of hardened Majengo veterans by being a proponent of Dem a bleach,things become clearer on why the gentleman thought of above shook the baby.Ushamba Mtupu.A serious case of Ushambiosis Rega.The case of farm not leaving the man.Kubaff.

It is said that it is not good to hit a man when he is down.What if he is short?

Are Kenyans abroad getting nastier or what/it might be a reflection of the sycopathic tendencies of the home hive........

Prayers are now in order for the creaking internet infrastructure of the much respected IT haven of the Republic of Kenya.We are also requesting the Union of Juju Workers and Waganga kutoka Tanga(UJAKUTA) to quickly put in an intervention with their masters.
How do you get the nerve to converse openly about a 24 hour economy when you cannot handle 2hours of internet.The only real 24 hour economy;the internet, stays on for fleeting moments and then nervously begs to go take a sh*t.I wonder why we have a PS for information,One whole cabinet portfolio with accompanying minister and several political children wielding huge titles such as The undersecretary for information/internet affairs.What about Undersecretary for internet downtime and lack of connectivity?A gentleman whose work will be to contact wronged Kenyans and setting up appointments between his jaw and their respective fists.
First of all we need to have the concerned gentleman quietely relinquish his post and join the work crews we here(But dont see) are working on our highly taxed for fibre optic cable.
The next time we are without internet there will be some post-internet violence and it is not me that will be groaning in pain.

I have heard that our brothas in the South of Africa are up in arms.One sad thing is that they have yet to find one who speaks sufficient English to explain why they have decided to discipline other Black immigrants without a care for whether or not it causes grievious bodily harm.
It is to be remembered that these are the the same brothas who when they needed a clandestine place to practice how to violently take over a regime came to us.Wah!
In the next millenium if they are ever caught up in another situation supervised by either Mr Botha or the the other guy that was in charge of the Sharpville incident,you will be required to train in your own bush backyard.
No exceptions even if your name is Rohinhlala and your dads name Mandela.

It occured to me the other day that SA has been ruled by terrorists for at least 14 years.I figure it must be beneficial to be a terrorist since Mr Mbeki(Prezzo de SA) has been a high ranking member of a proscribed double CIA checklist organization;The ANC.Could joining the SLDF(despite being a non Sabaot) increase my chances of joining Raira in the cabinet?

I keep wondering wether Mr.Imaga.net and his spammer friends have a certain disorder that makes one utilize their bowel movements as relaxing exercises. magmag.net should now join others sentenced to eating shit so they can die and the following info is for them to consider.Sharia is soon to rank spamming in the same serious crime level as homicide.
I have been in contact with adherents of Sharia law and we are deciding what body part we will be removing from their bodies.I have changed my email jurisdiction to a known Sharia practicing Sultanate and anyone spamming me now will be under Sharia Law.Who is laughing now?ha ha ha ha ha.(Please search youtube videos for famous decapitations.)

Dear Spammer

Dear Japanese Spammer,
Eat Shit, constipate,suffer for long and die a miserable death.I have now reached the end of whatever forgive 70 x 70 means.You are hereby served with notice to desist from anymore further adding even one bit of spam to my mailbox.
If I knew your real identities imaga.net,magmag.com and iko tomoko you would be needing the kind of protection that has now been granted the pope and of course the much disliked soon to be former president Mr Bush.
Honestly,why should you spam me in a script,dialect and language that Iwould not know from Greek or native Mande.Honestly!
To that effect I have sent your combined total IP addresses to the brilliant russian manufacturers of Amvo.dll the famous backdoor trojan and also hordes of mad hackers who will not give a shit that the info they steal is in a language which you need a degree to read just the alphabet.The two groups of despicable web creatures can then spam and hack each other out to a settlement.But please do not include me in any future plans you may have even if it involves taking over Google or the world,I will select my own villanious plot thank you.
All hackers and malware manufacturers have been asked to call a convention where they can clearly state their reasons for being in that particular line of work.They should then state clearly why instant hard labour sentences in Siberia should not be mailed to them in absentia.You know that encrypting your communication to someone is very rude.Please send viruses clearly labled with what they do so we an assist with functionality so as not to tooootally without reason crash our precious system.Most of us are willing to share half our disc space,for a pound of flesh.


Let us  all join hands as we mourn the death of allofmp3.com and then snicker like Courage the Cowardly dog as we gleefully watch Torrentz wash away the value of corporate copyright and irrigate the growth of free information.(Mad thumbs up for the founder of Piratebay.org,genuine love for all the evil geniuses in the world.)
Can someone please hack into a bank and seed a credit torrent,any takers?
 

Okey dokey

Clearly it is not the easiest thing to get a consesus even with ones own thoughts.My last post I can sadly say at this moment was not a signal but mostly noise.Sad,but true.
Dr Congo I here is a beautiful country in the central parts of Africa that I am ignorant on.Friends and enemies have made my apparent stereotypical thinking apparently clear.Sad again,but true.So in the spirit of fair trade(insults can only be traded between parties of equal ignoramusness).I will take some time to sturdy the various biased literature that I have been given since my last post and in retrospect then clearly dispense to the various patient patients within this lovely continent each a properly researched insult.
The guy who should eat s**t and die soonest is;CUPID.If that little creature with a bow and arrow actually exists he should be writing disclaimers,hiring Mafia bodyguards and requesting the Greek authorities for state protection.I have mad beef with that bitch, he better be still hiding in folklore.

In the third millenium I assume most Homo Sapien or other Sapiens must have figured out by now the cyle of things,WORK>FOOD>REST.But shock on me last weak when I uncharacteristically involved myself in this argument with persons of equal unbalanced mind.
See here Mister,if Armaggeddon has not reached and the dead have not risen and those alive before and after Armageddon have not been called before the shining extra huge throne of judgement,then we are safe to assume that nothing will become or give us the illusion of being free.Honestly!Wives are battering conjugal favours(the key word is favours not rights) and some fellas expect Manna from Man.Yet another sad situation.Big grown black men waiting for free stuff to be made available from above.Sad.
The Almighty must be wondering what happened after Golgotha'the place of skulls'.Was that the last guy who was the real deal.I figure we are in more trouble than we know.Just depending on what scam the aliens are running.They are everywhere,didnt you watch Men in Black Suits 3.They are everywhere.And most are in Chinese costume.
I have heard rumours that Fidel Castro has authorized the release of his greatest hits,sorry,greatest speeches on DVD.(Snore x4).(I heard that he is now breating through a hole in his a**.)Students of the stoic art of boring yourself to death have been heard conversing in low tones over the ground shaking event.
Wacha niende get some remedy for the continuing saga of the lost marbles.

Electricity uuurgh.Down with....

When Dr Doom goes without electricity he looses his ability to discombodulate anything in his path and he is rendered utterly helpless and is just like a mkebe.
Obviously I being the closest comparison in terms of sheer energy,I can clearly identify with suddenly incurring the wrath of jolly old Reddy killowatt.
F**k Reddy,why the schiznit should he have one of those massive ejaculations when I am right in the middle of rendering Projekt X.
I mean, does he have a problem with a honest cranky Kenyan beating down a keyboard in the name of creating art.F**k Reddy.Twice.

(A sigh of relief)

Now that I have let of some steam(It is not steam really but some weird form of expression invented at Google HQ)(They have aspirations of being the anti Christ according to sources in another part of the blogosphere where the tools which measure sanity cannot be satisfactorily vouched for.)Let me completely
use this opportunity to seriously evaluate the state of art in Africa today.
First I would like to state as a preamble that there are no hard feelings na kama hujui kiswahili sorry the wrong guy did your mummy and you kind of feel that you are being left out(Im I rambling?)so sorry.

This is to Naija artists and artistes et al; Ogah go learn som communikeshon skill ,it no have to be if yo from Naija you cannot be understood.Man you be de talkin like you de swallow de hot foofoo.Wa! De no teach de english in Naija skuls?

Amadoda,heeeeh!Tsotsi,why the hell do you still behave like you facing down the system in Kwa zulu Fatal or whatever boondok you come from.Just remember that most guys we meet from SA who are doing a little bit well are white.(No hard feelings me African Broda) If a black Kenyan went to SA without education he would be doing twice as well as most whites.Yo kwaito stinks,gives you headaches for days and has got no f****n groove.Do you guys just know how to slap boots?Y'all be miners or what?Get over that Pre Nelson Mandela hangover and spread the love.Oh!And quit killing dem Somalis,most of them are dead already.

Masera,washikaji.Jishike tu.The day the official slogan of The United Fully socialized republic of TZ is Kuna Kurara,We are sreep untirr the birdis kamu home.Is the day of self actualization.Did you hear of that gentleman who landed in Uganda and being the well known artiste that he is and being ladden with the poor value currency of both countries drew the attention of a svelte socialite from Europe.Alas!Msera could not speako the English. Wah!It seems that Proffesor Jay has more than enough work teaching guys simple English.He should stick to that.Or if it emerges that hata yeye hajui Engrishy..........

I will not reduce myself to the level of commenting on Ghana.Their movies are extremely appalling and it may take centuries to ............

Maghreb.Where is Maghreb?alao lalal ilaaaal Kaboom!!Please do not let them know where I live.I am allergic to shrapnel.

Next time we will dwell on the gem that is Dr Congo.The name itself suggests the need for sustained medical intervention.It will need a whole session to seriously analyze that land of cannibals........

Disclaimer: The views above can be expressed freely in any of the mentioned countries.However,the blogger will not pay medical bills arising from either,(a) thorough beating by public or justice by mob, or(b) Injuries resulting from flung fists or weapons that can be adjudged to be able to cause above average harm.Herein the blogger and the blogee have no obligation in the eventuality that death is caused.However,the blogger has indemnified blogee funeral costs to the tune of 3 Tanzania shillings payable by order of the crown court in Zimbabwe.
Please apply for an injury insurance loan of 20000 dollars here.First 20 people no interest charged.

(Payable in Central bank of Zimbabwe bearer cheques.)

Adios Amigos.

3d and Africa.A start.

Africa is mainly 2d and black and white with many garish combinations of the basic red yellow green palette.Sad or interesting depending on which end of the pendulum is hitting you.
If you are reading this blog,then the first thing you should do is attend CRAZINESS 101.
Oh,and if you are not an artist or a wanna be artist your contribution should be minimal and limited to the totally real life that you know,otherwise be warned that we only pay hospital bills that are not associated with mental illness.
Ok,seriously,I am thinking that the artist and his self cannot be separated from the need for lots of money and recognition.A poor artist is a madman(read Van Gogh)Despite of how much cash your doodles are worth when you are pushing up daisies or red earth.Awarenes is the key(I think)
If some huge conglomerate inundates me with wads of green cash or Brown cash(Read Kenyan 1000 shekel) it is because of the level of awareness created by etc including this blog.
Am rambling,obviously the dastardly effects of prolonged use of unprocessed hallucinogenics(Mild).
Final remarks,a 2d artist without 3d skills is bound to find that he is a Tamil tiger strapped with a stink bomb,lots of stink but no kills.
P.S f**k all the critics.